Dark Malaise

No, it’s not a rich, chocolaty dessert, it’s how I feel today. I feel like I’ve been sitting alone in this house for a thousand years, like some sort of Rapunzel waiting for someone to rescue me. Tomorrow I’ll put Mississippi in full day daycare and go work downtown. And I’ve got to be at the potential house for more estimates in the middle of the day. I’ll be running around all day out in the world. I’m sure I’ll be exhausted by the time I get home, which I suppose is usually the case these days anyway, but maybe I’ll appreciate being home again after a long day. I don’t appreciate being here right now and I want out. Mississippi’s feeling much better, now it’s time to fix me. I thought about sneaking away to Cannon Beach this weekend, but is it really smart to spend $300 on a hotel right now? And if we brought Mississippi, would we get in trouble because she feels the need to bark at everything? Would we be kicked out? Would we have to foot someone else’s hotel bill? I sure could use a brief break. I don’t do well without a yearly proper vacation and it’s been a while now. I don’t see any vacations in the future and that just adds to my sadness. Life is too short to not take trips, even little weekend ones. Maybe Superbowl weekend is the perfect time to break Mississippi in to the whole dog friendly hotel world. Who goes away on Superbowl weekend anyway?

Work lately has involved a lot of frustration and needless waiting around. I feel like I’m doing nothing fast. I’m a big sobbing mess. I could use a picnic or something. I love taking Mississippi to the dog park but I need some other kind of fun in my life too. Our weekends tend to revolve around her dog park time. And my week days tend to revolve around her daycare schedule. She’s got a lot of energy.

My days have been pretty stressful with phone calls and emails about the potential house. I’m packing one box a day, just to keep my eye on the prize. It’s stressful waiting to hear what’s going to happen, I’m going to feel a lot better about things next week, once all the estimates are done and we find out what the owners are going to take care of. The latest update is slightly high radon levels, a very badly corroded sewer line, and a leaky oil tank. Fun fun.

You know what I could really use? A poker night. Where is Shannon when you need her? Probably studying too hard somewhere.

I’ll have to settle for prenatal yoga followed by pork chops. Not really the level of fun I’m looking for.


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