Watching the Deadlines roll by

What can I say, I’m bummed out. The New American Paintings deadline is approaching and yet again, I have not enough work to submit for it. Ugg, I actually don’t want to talk about it now that I’m here in front of my computer. I thought I did. I’m going to look at my New Elements in Abstract Painting book and I’m going to look at my circuitry book I found at a thirft shop. And I’m going to focus my thoughts on positive, not negative. Because here’s where I am. I have a beautiful, amazing 9 month old daughter who doesn’t sleep very much and who takes a lot of work. And I’m very lucky to get this time with her. I don’t have to work and leave her in day care. She wears me out by the end of the day I’m exhausted and then she’s up all through the night. I can’t be too hard on myself. The way things are right now is a totally temporary state of being, a year from now things will be vastly different. It is what it is. I love my daughter. I want to make work so bad but she’s the priority right now. Things could be very different a month from now, who knows. Each week seems so vastly different than the one before it. It’s a roller coaster for sure.