I wanted an easy resolution, one that I could do no matter what life threw at me. I started this project believing I would be spending the year making and giving birth to a baby. That didn’t happen. The Virgo planner in me spent the year being heartbroken and frustrated. I’ve learned a great deal about my body, about the tricky little devil called conception, and about how truly strong and wonderful our relationship is. I also learned that 1 year is not long to wait at all, and that I am a very lucky girl to have gotten pregnant in my first year of trying. My heart goes out to the couples out there who have been going through heartache and frustration for much much longer than I have.

We moved to a new town this year and as we tried to get settled in, I think maybe the apples helped keep me focused in some way. Maybe they were just mostly delicious.

Now that 2010 is here, I got my wish and I learned so much more how to appreciate and cherish it. For next year I have much bigger plans. I am going to do 365 drawings in 2010 and 52 audio sketches. I want my art practice to be as regular and daily as eating an apple.

Things I learned:

• I love apples
• Local, in season apples are amazing
• An apple a day does not keep the doctor away
• An apple a day will not make you magically loose weight or poop better or keep your teeth clean
• People in general are loving and generous and love to help, even if it just involves apples
• Apple and pork make a great team, but I think I already knew that

My wish for the new year is to deliver a happy, healthy baby who grows up to like apples.

That’s about all I have to say about that! Here’s what 365 apples looks like:

Apple 363. Sick and wanting sprite just like when I was a kid.

Apple 362. Apple studel and frozen yogurt.

Apple 361. Lots of fruit in the house right now.

Apple 360. Christmas robots!

Apple 359 and our new penguin humidifier

Apple 358. Merry Christmas to me! To got me some apple art from Angela.

Apple 357. Somehow I justified getting this aple fritter because it was from the New Seasons bakery so it must be good for me, right?

apple 356 was eaten while being all stressed out at how much work there is to do before Christmas.

Apple 355 on a short break in the backyard with Mississippi

Apple 354 – working, working, working

Apple 353 – a hot cider at Tricia’s Christmas Concert at Tabor Center

Apple 352

Apple 351

Apple 350 at the Everette Street Bistro with Tom, Ellie, and roomate (Rael?) after our opening.

Apple 349

Apple 348 – Christmas cards

Apple 346. A nice weekend with Tom and our doggy. We’re so in love.

Apple 345 was a Melrose apple

Apple 344. Making tamales for Jon and Summer.

Apple 343. Tom is watching Constantine.

Apple 342. Adding sewing elements to the paintings.

Apple 341. Listening to Foreigner Four.

Apple 340. Wrapping presents for under the tree.

Apple 339. Sewing a turtle.

Apple 338. Trimming the tree.

Apple 337. Looking for recipes for the fennel bulb we got in our CSA box.

Apple 336. Busy busy.

Apple 335, an Ambrosia eaten after a night of staining and sketching.

Apple 334 is having a play date with pikachu stapler and glitter.

Apple 333 was in our delicious farro risotto with savoy cabbage, bacon, and mushrooms.

Apple 332 was a Golden Russet. Very sweet and meaty.

Apple 331 was a slice of my delicious Thanksgiving apple pie.

Apple 330 was an apple fritter and coffee from Krispy Kreme after doing a Costco run in Clackamas.

Apple 339 was a ridiculously yummy french toast at a cute breakfast place near us called Toast.

Apple 328 was in the delicious stuffing Mo made on Thanksgiving.

Apple 327 was eaten to mask the icky taste of my acupuncture formula.

Apple 326 was a giant apple called a Northern Spy. It was sweet and juicy.

Apple 324 was an ambrosia

Apple 323 was eaten on a day full of fret and worry.

Apple 322 is playing Vanna White to our Thanksgiving Turkey

Apple 321 is an Arkansas Black, modeled by the lovely and talented Emelyn in Seattle.

Apple 320 was eaten in celebration of getting my computer back up and running.

Apple 318
Slow progress on my four paintings on paper. This is at PNCA in the painting studios.

Apple 317
My computer broke and I’m backing everything up so I can wipe my drive and start fresh. It’s the beginning of the holiday shopping season and I work on a website for a retailer. I’m screwed.

Apple 316
From my notebook:
Blissful evening hanging out in my chair in the basement, listening to Tom write music. I’m surrounded by books and I’m drawing. Textiles, Fairfield Porter, quilts, Charles Burchfield, writings about Agnes Martin by Rosalind Krauss.

Agnes Martin quote:
"This poem, like the paintings, is not really about nature. It is not what is seen. It is what is known forever in the mind."

Apple 315
My current stack of library books.

Apple 313, Black Gesso, and glitter

Apple 312, Tom restrings his lap steel.

Apple 311 and my two favorite creatures taking a nap together.

Apple 310 and my messy desk.

Apple 309 and the first black gesso test

Apple 308 watching Yo Gabba Gabba at Mo’s house. Thanks Lauren for the assist!

Apple 307 – cranberry apple sauce

Apple 306 – working on a new series

Apple 305 – excited about the new work

apple 304 – cranberry apple sauce

Apple 303 – we finished watching all three seasons of the Mighty Boosh.

Fruit plate!

Apple 302 – cranberry apple sauce with pork and yams.

Apple 301 the first of the cranberry apple sauce. Made it in the crock pot.

Apple 299
An assignment in making/finding your own painting tools.

Apple 298
Chinese lanterns for fall decoration

Apple 297
Just another apple. I think this was the first solid apple I’d eaten in a while.

Apple 296
Apple sauce for sicky.

Apple 295
Very sick, can’t stomach solid apples. Made some apple sauce.

Apple 294
A king David from new seasons apple fest.
71 apples to go before december 31st.

Applw 293
A sommerset from the New Seasons apple festival

Grimes Golden Apple 292

Spitzenberg apple 291 from the new seasons apple fest.

Sweet Orin apple 290

White Winter Pearmain apple 289

Courtland apple 288

Nea Seasons apple festival

White Silk apple 287

apple 286. making more tiny disaster paintings of tornados for the Tiny show at the Studio Gallery, San Francisco.

Apple 285
I’m cutting out and dying leaves using thick watercolor paper. I plan to use them in some drawings.

Apple 284
Tom says this apple doesn’t count because the little cup of apple sauce they gave me was puny, I say it does could. I ordered apple sauce, it’s not my fault I only got a little bit. We had a great post Anne Ailson lecture dinner at Delta on Woodstock near SE 45th.

Apple 283
I’ve worked for my current employer for over a year and had never bought a single item from them. So I got myself this cute little reading lamp. I love it. This is a shot my nightstand, complete with my favorite watermelon glass, Portland magazine, The Gift, and my thyroid replacement meds, which incidentally are making me feel 100 times better.

Apple 282 was eaten on a break during my painting class at PNCA. I got it at the great little corner market near PNCA.

Apple 281 was eaten while I stained some pages in my new sketchbook. I prefer drawing on stained paper, generally speaking.

Apple 280
This is a common facial expression for Mississippi when she realizes I’m going to make her stay home with me for the day instead of letting her go to daycare at Rockin’ Roxys.

Apple 279 was eaten very quickly as I gathered up my things to go see the Leonie Guyer lecture at PSU.

Apple 278
Tis the season! I love this time of year. Now that we have a front porch, I needed some pumpkins to decorate it with.

Apple 277
Arugula, apple, hazelnut salad at the Living Room Theatre after First Thursday

Apple 276 was cooked up and servied with hot oatmeal and pecans. That was a great breakfast.

Apple 275
So ashamed of this apple. Fritters are my weakness.

Apple 274 on our winter bed setup. Down comforter and electric blanket.

Apple 273
It’s getting cold!

Apple 272 A McIntosh from Christy’s lovely orchard basket birthday present, served with almond butter.

Apple 271
Baked Pink Lady appel rings with pork tenderloin, asparagus, red potatoes and garlic mushrooms.

Apple 270
Returned the LG monitor and replaced it with a Dell. The LG made terrible noise all the time. This is a Gala from Christy’s basket

Apple 269
Apple, beet, bleu cheese salad at the Observatory on SE Stark.

Apple 268
On a short grain white rice and eggs kick at the moment. Apple 268 is a Gala from Christy’s apple basket.

Apple 267
enjoying an apple in the garden with Mississippi

Apple 266
Picked up one of my favorite children’s books at the airport while I waited for Tom to fly back in from SF.

Apple 265
In the garage, finishing a painting for the Family show at the Launch Pad Gallery opening on October 2nd.

Happy Birthday to me! My friend Christy brought me a basket of apples straight from the orchard. They are Galas, Honey Crisps, and McIntoshes plus a couple of Asian Pears (Apple Pears). She also gave me bee and apple cookie cutters. Time for apple scones, me thinks.

Apple 264 from the basket Christy gave me. H is for Honey Crisp. So delicious, so crisp and fresh.

Apple 263 and flowers from Mo for my birthday. I’m so spoiled.

Apple 262
My acupuncturist wants me to stop drinking any form of coffee, decaf or otherwise, so I went to Tao of Tea for a couple bags of nice black tea.

Apple 261 and my diseased hand. Dermatologist said it was an allergic reaction gone haywire. It’s getting better now finally.

Apple 260
This is a pink lady. It’s red inside and very tart.

Apple 259, a pink lady

Apple 258
Happy birthday to me. We kayaked on the Willamette for my 39th birthday. I shared my apple with Tom because I love him.

Apple 257

Apple 256 at Cafe Reese with Mo on our girl’s night out.

Apple 255 and a birthday card from Dad and Bonnie

Apple 254 got a copy of Juztapoz magazine at Together Gallery after seeing Evan B. Harris’s show.

Apple 253 with a bunch of tomatoes from our garden.

Apple 252

Apple 251

Aple 250 and my new $20 dress shoes from Macy’s

Apple 249 and an apple pouch from a Vietnamese bakery on Foster.

Apple 248, driving around aimlessly, tired of feeling crappy.

Apple 247

Apple 246 and a Kara Walker book

Apple 245 and a very nice Goodwill find.

Apple 244 and the TBA festival in Portland

Apple 243 and the beginning of a weird painting.

Apple 242
Bought myself a birthday present today. I’ve been coveting these cups for a while now. They are porcelain and silicon. I just think they are lovely and I wanted one so bad. So I broke down and got one today. New Seasons in Sellwood had been sold out for a while and I was panicking that I wouldn’t find one. The stack of books are fulfilling a promise to myself that I will continue to behave like an art school graduate and not get completely engulfed by my solitary life as a web developing. I have my whole life to feed my love of art. There is job and there is passion.

Apple 241
I grew a little pot of wheat grass for Mississippi. I might use some too.

Apple 240
Thinking about what to do with our half eggplant. I ended up making a yummy sesame miso marinade and served it with brown rice.

Apple 239
Needed some rain boots. This is Portland after all. You understand.

Apple 238
Dinner at Gino’s in Sellwood for Tom’s birthday. Had cheese with apples, nuts, and dried cranberries.

Apple 237
Thinking about pastiche and plants.

Apple 236
Happy birthday Tom! I got him a Tom Waits biography from the book caboose thing on SE 13th in Sellwood.

Apple 235
This month’s issue of Modern Painters has John Waters on the cover.

Apple 234
Contemplating what I’m going to write about for PORT.

Apple 233
Bought a projector of a guy in McMethville. I’m using it for tracing onto canvas but I also excited about neighborhood movies in the driveway.

Apple 232
Had a quiet evening at home watching Little Britain. Got the DVD at the Multnoma County Library. They rock.

Apple 231
Thinking a whole lot about painting but not doing much about it.

Apple 230
New Fruit Bats record can in the mail. The show at the Doug Fir is happening soon.

Apple 229
I keep making upgrades to my work set up due to unnecessary pain and suffering. What I really need is more nature.

Apple 228
We gave in and let Mississippi on the couch with us.

Apple 227
Finally starting to work on our honeymoon quilt. Only a year behind… but there’s still time.

Apple 226
Cutting rectangles for the quilt.

Apple 225
Got my glass orb to paint for an AMP fundraiser.

Apple 224
Working on some sketches. I really like using fabric dye as paint.

Apple 223
I wanted to do 30 sketches in August. I got done with about 20. Not terrible, and at least more sketches than I did in July.

Apple 222
Working in the kitchen today for a change of scenery.

Apple 220 on the way back from Seattle. It’s our first wedding anniversary.

Watching tv in our room at the Ace Hotel Seattle.

Apple 218 at breakfast at the Ace Hotel Seattle.

Apples 216 and 217. Such a busy crappy week at work.

Apple 215 was a refreshing bowl of cold, homemade apple sauce.

Apple 214 eaten while truggling with an ever growing bug list at work.

Apple 213 was eaten while starting my 30 drawings in August project.

Apple 212 was eaten while contemplating the bee suit I’m making and wearing to Todd and Bethany’s wedding this Halloween.

I ate apple 211 cold, peeled and sliced up in a bowl.

Broken down and bought air conditioner number two for my office. I hated working from the bedroom again.

Working downtown at Flickerbox today. Apple 209 feels cool and cosmopolitan like that.

Apple 208 was eaten as I worked in our bedroom, trying to avoid the 100+ weather.

Apple 202 was an apple cider at La Superior. I know I had a rule about juice not counting as a whole apple but I make an exception in this case because I bought this before I realized it was apple soda. That made me happy to know I’m so attracted to apples, I gravitate towards all products apple without even knowing it.

Apple 201 was a whimpy portion of apple slices in my waldorf salad at The Original. I won’t be ordering this again. How can you make a waldorf salad with hardly any apples in it?

I feel embarrassed that I didn’t take a more exciting picture of apple 200. Should have been a more momentous occasion hitting the big number 200.

Apple 199 was homemade apple sauce. Mmmmm, delicious and cold on a very hot day.

Apple 198 and decaf Americanos are my best friend.

apple 196 was eaten as an apple sauce that I made in my crock pot. I had it with corn on the cob and an Italian Sausage.

apple 195 was eaten after I got back from a two day drawing workshop at OCAC with Nicole Gibbs. It is sitting on the pile of drawings I did over the weekend.

apple 194 was eaten in the morning before class. Mississippi had found both of these bottles that morning and used them as her ‘keep away’ items. She finds things that she knows she isn’t supposed to have and then makes us chace her for them. I had been wondering where these two bottles of ink had gone.

apple 193 was eaten with my daily glass of vegetable juice. I couldn’t really stand vegetable or tomatoe juice without vodka in it until I started this South Beach Diet. I don’t mind it anymore.

apple 192 was eaten after planting a bunch more flowers in the garden in the front of our house. This area used to be dead grass.

I made some apple sauce in my crock pot. Apple 191 is the first of the batch.

apple 190 was sauteed with chard and shallots, and served with an italian sausage, kraut, and mustard.

apple 189 was eaten after I finished cutting up more treats for Mississippi. She’s in a new class now and I need to make sure she’s got enticing treats. All of our classes are held outside in parks.

apple 188 was sliced up and eaten with an italian sausage.

apple 187 was eaten after I put up latice to protect my beautiful garden from my vegetable loving dog.

apple 186 was eaten after spending some time trying to unpack my office and organize it to make it look intentionally organized instead of looking unpacked.

apple 185 was eaten along with a glass of water and apple cider vinegar which is suppose to be a wonder cure-all.

apple 184 was eaten after finally replanting Tom’s bonsai.

apple 183 was eaten with my daily South Beach Diet veggie juice.

Apples 178, 179, 180, and 181
The reddish ones are Jazz apples, very sweet and always a little funny looking, which I like. Mississippi head-butted me in the face during this bunch of apples and it was very hard to eat them. My front tooth is still sore a week later. Bad dog!

I almost forgot to take a photo of apple 177. I had to pull it out of the trash. It was a Jazz from Whole Foods and it was delicious. I ate it at Flickerbox, Portland where I enjoy an occasional work day out of the home. Their offices are in downtown Portland very near Powell’s so it’s a nice break from working out of our spare bedroom.

Even though it was very irresponsible of us to buy fireworks with a fresh-out-of-the-pound pup, I bought them non-the-less form a tent fireworks place in a parking lot. I ate apple 176 feeling very proud of my purchase. Is ends up that Mississippi doesn’t mind fireworks anyway.

Apple 175 was eaten as I busily printed out photos to use as reference for a new small painting series.

Apples 171, 172, 173, and 174 were eaten as I got caught up with all the things that piled up when we were on vacation in Cape May for the week.

Apple 170 was stuffed inside a pork tenderloin that we made for Tom’s (and my) family in Cape May. Pork loin, potatoes, couscous salad (by Marita), sausage and honeydew melon, yum.

Apple 169 was probably my most favorite apple yet. I got it at a bakery in Cape May. I think it was technically called a turnover. It took several sessions to eat the whole thing and I shared a little too.

Apple 168 was eaten on the porch of the large house we stayed at in Cape May.

Tom and I had a lovely day on a North Cape May Beach. That’s where I ate apple 167.

Apple 166 was eaten at the Cape May Lighthouse and wildlife refuge where I paid a quarter to look at some swans and get eaten by mosquitoes.

Apple 165 was also eaten on the Cape May porch. I thought I would get a lot of reading in Cape May but I ended up just carrying the Botany of Desire around with me everywhere. Only got halfway through. I did finish the first chapter on apples however!

Apple 164 was eaten on the way to Beach Haven New Jersey to see some friends of ours.

I ate apple 163 the first morning we woke up after arriving in Cape May. I told the whole family about my apple resolution and they were rooting for me all week.

Apple 162 was eaten while packing up Mississippi’s things for her week long boarding “sleepover” at Rockin’ Roxy’s. I cried when I dropped her off.

Apple 161 was eaten while packing for our trip to Cape May to see the whole family. Tom has 8 brothers and sisters and almost all of them have paired up and/or procreated. That makes a whole lotta family.

Apple 160 was eaten while I marvelled at how much less trouble Mississippi gets in if we just let her destroy some sticks in the living room. TGFS – thank goodness for sticks.

Apple 159
Bored at work, surfing the Mayo clinic website and decided Tom needed some multivitamins. Might have all been an excuse to take a break from work.

I picked up some pink ladies and this one in particular is about as good tasting as an apple can be.

Apple 158 – Getting ready for our trip to the Jersey Shore (Joyzee Showah). We will be spending the week in a house on the beach with nearly all of Tom’s family. That’s 25 adults and children give or take. That’s a full house.

Apple 157 enjoyed with a coffee from Half and Half while working at Flickerbox Norte.

Apple 156 enjoyed all sliced up with a nectarine.

Enjoyed Apple 155 as I watched my new 3 quart crock pot simmer away. I made white bean and bacon soup.

Apple 154 was for a needed energy boost before attempting to bathe the doggy.

Apple 152 and 153. I don’t really garden organically but my garden sure looks like I do. If organic gardening involves over planting and letting the bugs and the dog eat their fill, then I’m on my way!

Apples 150 and 151 – Trying to take some chances on new paintings.

Apple 149 planing tomato starts from seeds.

Apple 148 was eaten while drinking beer and watching Dexter.

Apple 147 was in a sandwich with prosciutto and cheese at the Living Room Theater in Downtown Portland.

Apples 145 and 146 were eaten after I triumphantly solved our overheated bedroom problem. We’ll see if it does us much good when it starts to really heat up around here.

Apples 143 and 144 have no back story.

Apple 142 was smothered in caramel and peanuts from the Picnic Basket in Cannon Beach. I hate to admit I didn’t quite finish it, but I gave it my best shot. It took a couple days of effort before I finally gave up.

Apple 141 was picked out of all the lovely apples at New Seasons near NE Alberta. It was so fricken hot that day. I think I was just wandering the planet aimlessly.

Apple 140 was eaten while I work, work work.

Anyway, it’s mine now and I’m going to use it all the time if it kills me. I’ve done two 10 minute sessions on it today so far. I’m so out of shape. So this is it! The start of me getting back into shape. I’ll work up to 30 minute sessions over the next week and start a regular routine. Sucks that it is loud because early morning workouts while Tom sleeps in would have been nice. Still, it’s here and I will use it no matter how annoying it it. To those thinking of buying a Nordictrack, don’t. The cheap plastic parts are incredibly cheap. The computer makes very annoying beeping noises, the front end wobbles back and forth with each stride and actually gets worse if you use the arm polls. You are better off getting a Hurricane or a Sole if you can afford it. My plan is to use this thing for 2 years then if I can prove I use it regularly, I’ll buy a Sole.

One nice feature: Apple holder! Apple number 139.

Apples 137 and 138 were eaten as I waited impatiently for my elliptical machine to be delivered. The UPS freight delivery guy was in a grumpy mood by the time he got to my house. They had loaded his truck backwards, putting the first deliveries in the front of the truck, so he had to unload everything to get to the right stuff. My elliptical weighed 231 pounds. The truck had no ramp and no dolly so he had to slide it off the truck. He luckily saw a dolly in a neighbor’s garage so he was able to borrow that. Otherwise, I have no idea how we would have gotten it up my drive. Our street is really narrow and they were doing construction at the end of the block. This meant he had to back down the street in order to get out. I felt sad for him. He hates the fitness company I bought my elliptical from. They don’t bother with delivery logistics and since their customers are mostly residential folks, they expect UPS to bring their giant fitness machines in their houses for them (I didn’t). Poor guy, sorry!

I bought my elliptical before I had figured out where I would put it. It’s too tall to go in the basement, the garage is no good because there’s poor circulation and a lot of the time (I’m hoping) it’s going to smell like paint fumes. So, the only option was my office. I moved around my chair and sewing table while eating apple 136 and unpacked some more boxes. I wrote this for apple 136:

Determination. I can make art, I can take classes, I can keep a regular exercise schedule. I can get my work done and spend more time in the studio. I can train my dog to be well behaved around other people and animals. This apple is a promise to myself that all of these things can happen if I just keep trying. I’m clearing a space for my foolish exercise equipment purchase. I will prove to myself that it wasn’t a foolish purchase, I will use it and I will lose the tire. I will meditate while burning off the weight.

I ate apple 135 while doing some drawing.

I was given this apple for free by the checker at Safeway who simultaneously passive aggressively scolded me for not putting my produce in Earth destroying plastic bags. She said they are hard to handle when they are loose like that. Maybe she hoped she was killing me with kindness for letting me have an apple for free even though she clearly blamed me for it’s fall.

Apples 134 and 133 were eaten as I obsessed over the Oregon Humane Society photo contest. I’ve been taking photos of Mississippi left and right. If I win, I get a new camera. I also started eating apples two by two because I realized I’m falling behind.

Mississippi and I did some pruning in the backyard and I got a lovely vase full of Japanese maple branches. I ate apple 132 feeling very pleased with my new decoration.

Apple 131, Mississippi is in boarding for the day and we open the drapes to finally let some light in. Our house has felt like a cave.

Apple 130, I’ve been borrowing all the dooks and videos about dog training from the Sellwood library. Keeping my dream alive of one day having a happy, well adjusted dog.

I ate apple 129 while supervising Mississippi in the backyard, hoping she doesn’t eat all my beautiful plants.