I wanted an easy resolution, one that I could do no matter what life threw at me. I started this project believing I would be spending the year making and giving birth to a baby. That didn’t happen. The Virgo planner in me spent the year being heartbroken and frustrated. I’ve learned a great deal about my body, about the tricky little devil called conception, and about how truly strong and wonderful our relationship is. I also learned that 1 year is not long to wait at all, and that I am a very lucky girl to have gotten pregnant in my first year of trying. My heart goes out to the couples out there who have been going through heartache and frustration for much much longer than I have.
We moved to a new town this year and as we tried to get settled in, I think maybe the apples helped keep me focused in some way. Maybe they were just mostly delicious.
Now that 2010 is here, I got my wish and I learned so much more how to appreciate and cherish it. For next year I have much bigger plans. I am going to do 365 drawings in 2010 and 52 audio sketches. I want my art practice to be as regular and daily as eating an apple.
Things I learned:
I love apples
Local, in season apples are amazing
An apple a day does not keep the doctor away
An apple a day will not make you magically loose weight or poop better or keep your teeth clean
People in general are loving and generous and love to help, even if it just involves apples
Apple and pork make a great team, but I think I already knew that
My wish for the new year is to deliver a happy, healthy baby who grows up to like apples.
That’s about all I have to say about that! Here’s what 365 apples looks like:
That’s right! Tom and I have joined the world of baby making. We had our first appointment yesterday and everything looks great. I don’t know what to say about it right now except to say we are grateful.
The little ring is the yolk sack. The head is at the bottom and the dark area in the head are the eyes. We saw some little paddles for arms and legs and a strong heartbeat. Looks roomy in there!
Mom is doing good, very little nausea, just crazy gas. Dad thinks his sleepy, farty wife is very funny. Mississippi is extra cuddly these days. I think she’s excited too.
Merry Christmas! I hope you are having as magical a time as we are having. Christmas eve we went over to Mo’s house for roast beast and yorkshire pudding. Mississippi again behaved like an angel and was adorable with the two 6 month old babies. She loves parties and behaves very well, even with temptation on every counter top.
Christmas eve-eve we drove over to North Portland and had some drinks at the Saraveza and checked out the Chapel pub right up the street. We love this town.
Christmas morning we made some orange julius, which I think is going to become a regular around here. I had made some cinnamon raisin loaves the day before so we could have cinnamon french toast for breakfast. We got lots of great presents including these two handsome robots.
Our house feels so warm and cozy right now and we feel very blessed to have each other and to have found this amazing little dog. She got her own stocking with a bully stick in it. She proceeded to try and bury it in the couch, and then in the yard. She finally settled down and had a relaxing chew in the sun in our backyard, But not before scraping her nose from all the digging.
Today we got up, went to a very delicious breakfast at Lili down the street, then headed to Tyron Creek State park with Mississippi. We took her here once before and although it was fun last time, it seemed like much more of a struggle keeping her under control. Last time she barked at other dogs like crazy and was pulling us all over the place. This time she quietly sat on the side of the trail to get her treats while other dogs or joggers passed by.
I think my favorite present this year was this great hat. It like like a blanket for your head. It’s been cold around here, there was ice on the trail in places today. I love my hat!
Less than 10 apples to go and I barely have the energy to get through the day, let alone make some fan fare for my apples. So sad! I can’t promise things are going to get any better in the next week either. The apple project might just peter out into dull, boring oblivion. Anyone got one last fantastic recipe for me?
apple 356 was eaten while being all stressed out at how much work there is to do before Christmas.
Apple 355 on a short break in the backyard with Mississippi
Apple 354 – working, working, working
Apple 353 – a hot cider at Tricia’s Christmas Concert at Tabor Center
Apple 352
Apple 351
Apple 350 at the Everette Street Bistro with Tom, Ellie, and roomate (Rael?) after our opening.
Wow, a decade. I started writing this and then had to start over. I spent half the decade trying to find a way out of corporate America. I have not yet been successful. Sometimes I feel like I am hooked like a crack addict. I’m afraid to loose the financial security. I’ve used my career to help me achieve things I wouldn’t be able to do without a decent paycheck, but it’s always hard to find a balance, to find enough time and energy for art. The student loans want feedings. I want them gone. I want to own a house. I’m disappointed that I haven’t done more art in the past year and a half since I graduated. Maybe I needed to take a deep breath in and recharge, but I don’t think that’s a good excuse. I should be so driven to make art, it shouldn’t even be an option. As I got older this decade, my priorities got thinned out. A lot happened. But that’s in the past now. The thinning will inevitably continue so it’s up to me. In 2010 I’m making it a priority to have a daily practice, even if it’s simple gestures. I’m going to try and not be so hard on myself. I’ll just blame the thyroid, that’s a good thing to blame. I won’t blame the dog, she’s too cute and she was worth the effort.
I met Tom in 2000. I can’t imagine my life without him. My world is so different now. There is so much less to worry about or be sad about. I was so sad for so long. Our lives are all happiness and love and security. I’m crazy about him. When I see stories about old, happy couples, my eyes well up, because I see us. Without him, I probably would have never gotten my degree. I might have never gotten serious about my art. Who knows where I would be. Maybe lost somewhere, still looking for “home”. I found home in Tom. I distinctly remember one day at our apartment when I just got the itch. I felt like moving, getting out, running away. It then dawned on me that I had lived in that apartment with Tom longer than I had ever lived anywhere else. I didn’t know how to stay in one place and my flight instincts were kicking in. Instead of fleeing, I picked up a sponge and a mop and I cleaned that place from top to bottom. I scrubbed and cried until I worked out all that angst. That was the day I knew for sure, I wasn’t going anywhere, I knew where and with whom I belonged.
I forgave myself for a lot of things this decade. I no longer feel guilty for deciding to stay away from my family. Instead I see that I have a tremendous desire for self preservation and that makes me feel strong.
I got a college degree. I can’t believe I finally have a degree. I got out of high school at 16 to go to college and never finished college. I couldn’t afford to go to college and support myself. Plus I was an emotional wreck. I worked so hard on my own, teaching myself design and multimedia when there were no classes. I got a job at Apple and I still took classes through the years but I stopped pursuing a degree. I did fine without a degree but I hated being judged. I shouldn’t have cared but I knew it was always there. I know some people treated me differently. People whom I shouldn’t care about what they think, but I did care, it made me angry. Now I have a degree, and I got it for me, It was nothing to do with the career I’ve had for the last 20 years, it is a degree in what I am truly passionate about. Having a degree heals more childhood wounds too. At age 16 I flung myself into adulthood to escape the mess I was in. I was beating the odds that were handed to me. I think finally getting to go to college gave me that feeling of hope for the future that college is so good at giving you, something you don’t get when you jump right into a full time job at a large corporation. Anyway, it’s complicated. Maybe it’s not.
Lately I am so in the right now, it’s hard to look back and make any sense out of the last 10 years. And so here is my list. I looked through the old weblog archives. Here’s a quick list of things that happened:
Worked at Guru.com
Went back to freelancing in the middle of the dotcom crash
Tried to train for a marathon, hurt my knee
Tried again to train for a marathon, knee still hurt
Completed a half marathon and lots of other 10k and 12k races
Went on a road trip to Oregon, Washington, Canada, Montana, Utah, Nevada
Took care of my lower division bachelor degree classes at CCSF
Graduated with High Distinction from CCA
Worked at Williams-Sonoma
Got into the Bay Area Currents show at the Oakland Art Gallery
Wrote a cookbook for wedding guests
Got married
Went to Hawaii
Moved to Portland
Trips to Seattle
Got a dog and trained the heck out of her
Kept a blog for 9 years
The things I know for sure about my life right now: I love Tom to pieces. Art is my passion and calling. I loved school despite my occasional complaints, I love that I finally have a degree, I want to go back. I wish my dad could have seen me graduate. I love Portland and wish I had more time to enjoy it right now. I’m so glad I joined the gym. I know our lives are going to change in dramatic ways this decade and although I’m scared of the hugeness of the idea of so much change, I’m also so excited too. And ready. I’m ready. Hello new decade, hello 2010.
A robotic fish developed by scientists from Essex University is put through its paces in a special tank at the London Aquarium. It works via sensors and has autonomous navigational control.
Elizabeth Gilbert muses on the impossible things we expect from artists and geniuses — and shares the radical idea that, instead of the rare person “being” a genius, all of us “have” a genius. It’s a funny, personal and surprisingly moving talk.
Another great CSA box week. Last night we had Kale and penne. The kale was sweet and delicious. This dish is best with a little extra stock on the bottom of the bowl.
About 6-8 kale leaves, stems removed and chopped roughly
1/2 bag or box of penne
1/2 cup chicken stock
6-8 mushrooms, sliced
2 cloves garlice, minced
1 small onion, minced
olive oil
crushed red pepper
salt and pepper
Parmesan cheese
Boil a medium-large pot of water and add pasta. Bring a steamer pot to a boil and add kale. In a large skillet, saute onions, garlic and red pepper in 1-2 Tbsp of olive oil. Once the pasta and kale are done, drain pasta and add it to the skillet, add kale and chicken stock. Drizzle another Tablespoon or two of olive oil on top and add salt and pepper to taste. Cook 3-5 minutes until flavors are incorporated. Serve with Parmesan or asagio cheese. Serve in a wide pasta bowl.
This is another dish I’ve made from our Big Leaf Farms CSA. I made it in the crock pot Sunday afternoon. It is made up of about 4 cups chicken stock, 1 peeled and diced celeriac, 1 small onion, 2 cloves garlic, about half a bag of split peas. Cook them all up in the crock pot for 4-6 hours on high. Blend well with an emulsifier. We topped our soups with bacon. Mmmm.
Tom made fresh oregano butter and we had it on toasted sourdough wheat bread. Yum.
If you’ve never tried celeriac (celery root before) make sure you really peel it well. You’ll see a slight difference between the tough outer skin and the softer insides. Make sure you get most of the skin off. Celeriac has a mild, slightly sweet flavor and bares a similarity to celery and it’s in the celery family, but it’s very different from the ants on a log type celery.
Today Mississippi donned her raincoat for the first time. She didn’t make a fuss at all. As long as a walk was involved, she didn’t care how we dressed her up. I’ll remember that. I’ve been thinking about raincoats so I had a little fun with the interntoobs. Enjoy.
This is what I made for lunch today using the Pak Choi from our CSA. When we make chicken broth we always save some in the form of ice cubes. They are great for saute/steaming vegetable dishes like this.
Spicy Garlicy Pak Choi
1-2 Tbsp sesame oil
1 boneless chicken breast, cut into 1″ cubes
about 4 large stems of Pak Choi, washed and chopped roughly
2 cloves of garlic
dash of crushed red pepper
about 1/8 cup of chicken broth or two chicken broth ice cubes.
Prepare some white rice as you normally would. I prefer the medium grain sushi rice for dishes like this.
Add sesame oil to a large skillet heated to medium high heat. Add garlic, red pepper and chicken, brown lightly. Add chicken broth and Pak Choi. Cover and turn down to medium. Cook, covered for about 10 minutes, stirring occasionally.
Add cooked rice to a deep bowl and pour chicken and pak choi on top. Season with soy sauce and sriracha if you like.
We got our second installment of our CSA box from Big Leaf Farm yesterday. Last weeks menu was delicious and I’m looking forward to this week. Here is our first meal of the week:
Spicy Beef with Collard Greens and Potato Mash
Tom asked me where I got this recipe. It’s sort of inspired by a couple different recipes. The first is one that my friend Stacie made for me years ago. She sauteed chard, onions and ground beef with a little red pepper. It was so delicious. I think that was the day I figured out I liked chard. The second part is inspired by a recipe from Lydia’s kitchen where she mashed potatoes with chard and lots of olive oil. If you don’t like leafy greens but wish you ate more of them, I highly recommend trying this mash out. It is downright delicious, even for the most passionate haters of greens. I made this for two and had leftovers for lunch today. You can double or triple it depending on how many guests you have. They will probably want seconds.
Collard Greens and Mashed Potatoes
3 large collard green leaves, stems removed and sliced into 1″ by 3″ strips
3 medium sized starchy potatoes such as russets or Yukon golds
1/4 cup chicken stock
Olive oil
sea or kosher salt
Peel and slice potatoes into quarters. Add to a pot of water and bring to a boil. Once you’ve achieved a rolling boil, add the collard greens. Boil until the potatoes are tender when pierced with a fork. Strain in a colander, replace back in the pot. Add chicken stock and a healthy helping of good, extra virgin olive oil. Salt generously with sea or kosher salt. Mash lightly with a potato masher.
Spicy Beef
1 lb 10% lean ground beef
1 small red onion, diced
3 garlic cloves, diced
1 carrot, shredded
5 mushrooms, sliced
about 1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper (depending on how hot you like it.)
Olive oil
Heat 1-2 Tbsp olive oil in a large saute pan. Add onion, carrot, mushroom, red pepper, and garlic and saute 2-4 minutes until aromatic. Remember red pepper tends to get hotter as you cook it so you may want to use less than the recommended 1/2 teaspoon. Push vegetables to one side of the pan and break up ground beef into the free side. Brown and incorporate into the vegetables.
Spoon a helping of greens and potatoes into a wide bowl and top with spicy beef mixture. Serve with Sriracha or your favorite hot sauce.
A recap on last week’s box:
We made a fennel, wheat berry goulash with canned tomatoes that was pretty good and would have been even better if I’d either used farro or had given the wheat berries more time to soften. I forgot to soak them over night so I tried to use the quick soak method of adding them to boiling water and letting them sit for a couple hours off heat. It didn’t work very well.
For lunch I had a baked potato with steamed broccoli. Yum yum. We had that amazing farro risotto the first night.
Oh! We had the most kick-ass ramen with the Pak Choi. I got fresh noodles from an Asian market, used our fresh chicken broth from last week’s chicken roast, added a heap of miso paste and sauteed very thinly sliced pork meant for sukiyaki. I also found that at the asian market. So delicious.
I used the remaining savoy cabbage in a yummy coleslaw and we had BBQ chicken sandwiches with coleslaw and yam fries. The chicken was leftover from our chicken roast last week.
The only item I didn’t use from last week’s box was the acorn squash. I figured that would keep well and I wanted to get through the stuff that spoils fast. We may not get a box next week due to the freezing weather so we may have it next week unless we get through our stuff this week.
In addition to getting collard greens, potatoes and carrots, this week we got celeriac, onions, arugula, and beets. Tonight we are having chicken breast with a beet, arugula, goat cheese salad. Yum yum. I’m thinking about a split pea, celeriac soup later this week.
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